Let it Rain.

Do you ever just need to CRY?!

Your automatic answer should be, "Yes, Taylor! How did you know?"

Well. We all do. And I realized that just a bit ago...

Story time!
I was walking with a friend, named Francis. Not really, but Francis is slightly gender-neutral and therefore a good disguise for said friend... I don't like using names without their permission. And Francis is the only gender-neutral name I can think of.... Besides Taylor. Anyway, Francis and I were walking to walk and having a good ole talk while we walked. In some way Francis started telling me about this one time at camp... So. This one time at camp, Francis hadn't slept well for 5 days, and not at all for 2 of those days. Francis was tired. And when mother of Francis came and got *'em from the camp, for what seems like no reason at all, Francis started crying on the way home. And when the mom asked what was wrong, Francis could not answer in a way that made sense. A lot of "I'm just so happy to see you" and "Everybody was SO nice there" and "I miss home, but I'm going to miss camp!" And when Francis got home mommy-dearest sent 'em to bed, after so many hours woke 'em up and fed 'em soup, let 'em sleep for 12 more hours. And after listening to this story, I felt so... normal.

Let me tell you. I was the sensitive child growing up, and even though nobody realizes it now; I'm still a sensitive person. (Not nearly as much, because I was just dramatically over-emotional back then). I was the one who got my feelings hurt easily. The one my siblings would pick on, just because they know how easily they could make me cry. The one, that to this day, can't control that she tears up as soon as someone yells at her. Yup. That kid. Well, I was that kid around my family, but at school and everything I had to be the tough chick(for unrelated reasons)... So I knew how to hold my own. And I guess somewhere along the way, I found myself in this mind set that it is NEVER okay to cry. So, somehow, I blocked out my sensitivity completely, and didn't cry for 3 years. Worst 3 years of my life... When I heard Francis's story, I started laughing really hard. Not laughing at him/her, but the fact that the same EXACT thing has happened to me. The way mom handled it, the way I couldn't tell if I were happy or sad, the way I was SOOO tired that I just couldn't control it. The crying. I've had those nights when I'm just dirt-tired and any little thing (a song, somebody looking at me funny, etc.) would set off the water works. And my sister and brother have always made it seem like I'm the only one that happens to.. But Francis changed that.

When I finally cried after those years of boycotting it, it felt great. Crying after being relieved of sooo much stress, or even when full of stress, feels great. Sometimes, we just need to cry. Sometimes we don't need a reason.... I have learned that one of the worst things to do is pretend you are happy when you aren't, you know, plastering a fake smile. Though it is sometimes necessary to do so to make it though a situation, fake smiles should never be a constant mask. You have to let yourself cry, or do WHATEVER your form of crying is (to some people laughing has to be their equivalent to crying). Don't be that dramatic over-emotional kid like this girl was, but let yourself go sometimes.... Everyone has their days when they just need to cry.

Now. It seems to me like this post was sort of everywhere, I apologize. But I was running late on posting this and... well... It is what it is.
Have a great week!

*another attempt at being gender-neutral...