Strawberry Fields Forever

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever

Let me tell you something. I'm not the type of person who cares about too many things. Most people and things are like, whatever. But damn, if I care, I CARE! I put my heart into the things I care about, I will do anything for the people I care about. The word "people" is used loosely here because although there are people I care for, I don't care for many of them more than I care for a certain not person. Human or no, she's my baby. She's big, like 2000 lbs big, and red. Her name is Strawberry Fields, and she is my cow. Haha, I'm from Texas and I have a cow, how cliche... well, not really. Most people, even around here, are like "WHAT?! A COW!!!" But anyway, she is my baby.

I got Strawberry at the end of my freshman year through FFA. I remember the day I first met her. My mom and I drove out to an old Ag teacher's, and close friend's, ranch. She was only 6 months old and out in the very green, you know back when we actually had grass here, pasture. On the way home is when I came up with her name. She had this deep red hide that made her stand out from the more orange-red colored cattle, being the huge Beatles fan that I am, it was only natural for me to name her Strawberry Fields. A few weeks later, our friend brought her to our school ag barn. She was bucking and jumping in the trailer and all I could think of was that she was surely going to stomp on me to death. However. I pushed away my fears and walk her for the first time. She drug me back and forth, round and round, until I was cover in dirt and had cut up, bloody hands. She was 500 lbs, as afraid as I was, and when we both finally calmed down, I could only smile. I had no idea what I was in for.

As time went by, Strawberry and I got used to each other, like seeing somebody everyday of your life will do to you. I spoiled her silly, and she knew it. Every night instead of working her until she was exhausted like the others cattle-raisers did, I would tell her about my day and pet and hug her, and then tell her "Goodnight Strawberry Fields, I'll love you forever," as i left. I took her all around Texas for different shows and rodeos. Poor strawberry was the nervous type. I learned this after about two or three shows when she would over-power me and step on my feet. Now being closer to 1500 lbs, that wasn't okay. So to calm her during every show I would sing in her ear. My songs jumped from real songs, like the one she's named after, to ones I would make up off the top of my head. My voice kept her calm. She was a 1st place winner most of the time, everybody who saw Berry would tell me how gorgeous she was. After every show, we both would be so exhausted . She would lay down and sleep, and I would lay against her big belly and nap too. She would reach over and drag her huge, scratchy tongue across my face, arm, hair, or whatever she could reach. Before I knew it, I had had her for a year and it was time to breed her. As a preggo heifer, she was even bigger and even meaner. It was a long and hormonal 9 months for the two of us, as we returned to the new year's shows, but we made it. And last February, I was fortunate to be there when she was calving. I actually helped pull the baby out. With my arms covered with uncomfortably warm goo and guts, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had a little girl calf, named Abbey Road, and we were a happy little family. The compliments towards Strawberry extended to her calf. By this time Strawberry was well over two years old, which is too old to be a show heifer... plus she was officially a cow since she had a baby. There began the count down, of the last months I could have Berry, as she took care of her baby.

What I'm going to say next is ridiculous, I'm aware, but nobody understands. I've been avoiding this part by giving you all this background because I'm not ready for this. Strawberry would make me mad, completely pissed. She would give me an attitude and whip her head around like a child talking back. She knew she was stronger than me and would take advantage of this, dragging me around. She must have stepped on my feet a hundred times, enough that I have a permanently broken little toe. She was a brat. But she was also always there. I could always talk to her when I had had a bad day. I could tell her anything. When I needed a hug, her big neck was always available for me to throw my arms around. She had a way of being able to sense when I wasn't happy, and she would always find a way to make me smile. Strawberry Fields has been there, every day since I was 14. We had our ups, and our downs. But it didn't take long before she became my everything. I had problems, and some days she was the only light in my life that made me keep going. When you think about it from age 14 to 17, that's a part of your life when you really grow as a person. You learn a lot about yourself as you develop into an adult. Strawberry has been a giant part of my growing process; she's taught me life lessons, responsibility, hard work, and love. She's the best thing I could ever ask for.

All of that is why yesterday was the hardest day in my life. And I'm not sure if you can feel my emotions though my words or not, but I've been trying to hold back my tears this entire time. Yesterday Abbey Road turned 6 months old. She's big and beautiful, and I can't wait for this year to show her. But 6 months is the age when a calf no longer needs their mother's nurture... Like I said Strawberry is too old to show, so due to the district rules she had to leave the school barn.......Here comes the waterworks.... And when I think about it, I uncontrollably shout "NO, please don't go!" But it doesn't change that fact that she's gone. She went back to the ranch she came from, where I still own her... but don't get to see her everyday. I know she'll be taken good care of, and that she will be happier in a pasture than in a stall... but It doesn't take away my heartbreak. Nor does it go away when people who tell me this, over and over again. None of them get it. And here's what they need to get. Its like I've been stripped of everything important to me. It's somebody who had ALWAYS been there, isn't anymore. I can't grasp right now a good enough simile to describe how hard this is on me. I'm crushed. I am a complete wreck. As these keystrokes are drowned in my tears, I'm just trying to think straight to get the point of this post across. If the point is anything but me venting... I sat and hugged Strawberry Fields for hours before she left, trying to be strong and keep the crying to a minimum. She felt my sadness, like she's always done, and started licking my hands. I didn't, and never have, minded her slobber all over me. It's her love. Then that same trailer she arrived in pulled up, and it was time. It happened too quickly. He came, he got her, and she was gone. I got to give her one last hug and mutter out "Goodbye Strawberry Fields, I'll love you Forever." before he hauled her off. And as soon as that trailer rounded the corner and was out of sight, I cried big alligator tears and wailed a high-pitched wail like never before. It was uncontrollable. I sat down with Abbey and cried for hours, she looks just like Berry and would rubbed her head on me to comfort me, just like Berry...

I can't remember ever crying like that, like this, it was like a bad break-up x10. It was a rough night; it was a rough day; it'll be a rough week. But jesus, I know she's going to be happy. I'll be okay. It'll take time, but I'll be able to think of her without bursting into tears. I don't even know if I told you what I was meaning to tell you through this post, but oh well... Strawberry Fields will forever be in my heart, in my memory, and we will be together again. She's going off to live her happy cow life. I can't explain what she means to me, and even though I've known the day was coming for a long time, it doesn't make it easier. I appreciate those who have tried to help, and those who actually read all of this.
I love Strawberry Fields, with everything I have. I miss her already....

<3

The Year Ahead. (maximum excitement level)

Ahh!! Blog, how I've missed you!!! I apologize for neglecting you. I've had a major lack of inspiration... On multiple occassions I've attempted to write things that ended up boring me so much I couldn't even finish them! But I promise to give you more attention, even as the school year begins and I get loaded with homework. I will make time for you. And hopefully the school year will bring interesting things to talk about. Speaking of school, oh my freaking greif, school starts tomorrow.

Its goodbye summer 2011, an incredible vacation filled with self-discovery, unbelievable experiences, priceless memories made with friends, and much much more. Hello school year. Senior Year!!! Its the beginning of the end, and I couldn't be more pumped! I'm so darn pumped that I'm up blogging about it instead of getting sleep that later in the year will be so precious. Yeah right, NOBODY can sleep the night before school starts. From students of all grades to the teachers, everybody is wide awake with their head on their pillow. Our minds run in circles, thinking about everything and everybody. And even us seniors, who have done this since age six, have that nervous feeling in their gut. Heck, I'm typing this in my bed, contacts already taken out, with my phone because I'm so excited but my stomach is filled with butterflies and all that jazz. First days of school are that day when you don't know what to expect. You see people you haven't for 3 months. You are around people you have yet to meet even though you been in the same school for years. First days are sometimes the most nerve wrecking. Right now I'm wondering what classes and teachers I have, what friends will I see, what should I wear?!? But pass the anxiety of it all, new years mean new starts and new opportunities, and to me that is super fun.

I have a lot of expectations for my last year of highschool. This doesn't include becoming homecoming or prom queen, being valdictorian, or getting everything my way. However, I do expect some pretty incredible things. This year will test relationships. I have my circle of friends, and I love them all dearly, but it seems unlikely that we ALL will stay intouch after graduation. It would take true effort. And I'm willing to put forward effort to anybody and everybody who is willing to do the same. So this year I'll be able to see who that is. I also expect to make the most valuable memories of highschool this year. I already have some pretty incredible ones, so it'll be tough, but this year should top them all. I expect to be less stressed about classes this year, but stressed enough by AP classes to keep me going strong. And I could go on and on with my expectations, but won't...

As a freshman, and since then, I've always been involved with students who were older than me. I've never been scared by the seniors. I don't wish to scare underclassmen, but I do plan to run shit. For me, everything has fallen into place to make up a perfect set up for this year. Well, nothing fell into place, I worked my ass off to get where I am. But I've accomplished all my plans. President of FFA, check. Top ten percent of class, check. Amazing friends and relationships, check. So there is no reason I shouldn't, we shouldn't, run the school. This wish of mine is in no way about popularity or any bullcrap. That stuff doesn't matter, because when it all comes down to it, this is only highschool, not life. But what I mean is that things should be easy, things should go our way.

I apologize for how I'm jumping around so much through this post. Like I said, my contacts are out, and I'm just typing all the things on my mind that are keeping me awake. All I really want to say is how excited I am to finally be a senior. I look forward to every moment I get to spend with my friends, to every class I get to love or hate, to every night I sacriface sleep to work. I look forward to a year of emotional rollercoasters of the bittersweetness of preparing to end highschool. Although I say how I can't wait for college, the truth is I've liked highschool. Graduation isn't coming a day too soon or a day to late. When the time comes, I'll go. But until then I plan on making this year the best one ever. I've done this so many times. The first day of school. The whole shabang... I might as well make my last time tower over previous years in levels of awesomeness. I know what I'm going to wear in the morning, but I've no idea what else lies ahead. Let's run this mutha, rock this year, Class of 2012, we're finally here!!!
Goodnight.

Long Live Handwriting

Today I was scrolling down my Twitter timeline, reading the many different news headlines from ABC, NBC,and other sources. Despite the many articles about the London riots, and our economic status, the one story that caught my attention was CNN's "Is handwriting dead?" I'm very bad about judging books by there covers, and when I say books I mean actual books, articles, and other reading material.. not people. So, just by reading the headline, I completely flipped out. "What?! Dead?! NO!!!"

To me, handwriting is my source of power. I have trouble collecting and organizing my thoughts, and I have to physically write down what I'm thinking when I have to explain it to others for school projects and such. The physical act of writing is a good outlet for me and I would hate for that to die. There's just a better feeling when I have a pen in my hand than when I have keystrokes beneath my fingers, I feel in control. Even though these blogs are typed, it's only so others can read it, and many times I write my posts down on paper before hand. I was fully prepared to fight for my right to write once I saw the headline. After reading the story I can understand what CNN means, and my opinion will form as I go on writing, because that's the way I think.

Here's the article http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/08/10/handwriting.horror/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

It starts by saying how teen stars have horrible handwriting and signatures that nobody can read, then saying it is a reflection of the younger generations as a whole and their writing skills. I apologize that Miley Cyrus never learned to write, but I'm a part of that generation and my handwriting is excellent. I have my crappy chicken scratch when I'm writing notes and trying to keep up with the teacher, but then I have decent handwriting as well. However, I strongly believe that handwriting and especially signatures should be individualized. If I want my signature to be "T scribble, A scribble scribble," then that's what it's going to be. Writing should be personalized and reflect your attitude. Although there are many books and lessons to teach people how to write properly, I feel that if we all wrote "perfectly," handwriting would be like the whole world typing in 12 point Times New Roman font; boring. Handwriting is like drawing, it's art. To have somebody's authentic handwriting, like an autograph, is so incredible. I have a script from The Beatles' movie "Help!," that has chicken scratch notes all down the margins that The actual Beatles wrote, if the writers had went back in and typed the changes noted, it wouldn't be so cool.

And then there's cursive. That script that we were all forced to learn and use for the whole year in 3rd grade. I'll be honest, at the time I hated to write in cursive. Print was so much easier. However, after years of the callus on my finger healing, and me learning that I don't have to put so much pressure on the paper, I tend to use cursive quite a bit; I like it. According to this article, many schools are going to stop teaching students how to write in cursive. I don't see how keeping the subject in curriculum hurts anybody, but I see how taking it out can. For years I thought cursive would never apply to anything in life, then when I took my SAT we had to use cursive. There were kids in that room who raised there hand and said "I don't know cursive," and my only thought was how pathetic are they. When I was young, my parents only ever wrote in cursive, and until I learned how to write it myself I could never read what they wrote. Even if you make the choice to not write in script, you surely need to know how the read it. And the article brings this up with the example of reading historic documents. Even if the documents were transferred to print so younger, unintelligent generations could read, it would not be the same as seeing the Declaration of Independence in it's original glory... but maybe that's just the history buff coming out in me..

Even as technology advances, and now students even use their phones to take notes on, I can't see handwriting dying in younger generations, unless the older generations take it away from us. If they make the choice to stop teaching handwriting in 2nd grade, of course future generations won't be able to write legibly. As long as we are taught writing skills, it's our choice on how we use it. Whether we write neat and professional, or sloppy, it should be a reflection of how we feel. Don't define a generation based off of the teen stars who can't write. And forget not being able to write well, somebody needs to teach Miley how to spell...

Not too old

TV seems annoyingly repetitive. Every character, plot, and other aspects are replicated throughout the channels. I'm aware that the "Big 6" contribute to this, being the six companies that own pretty much everything you see on TV. I also know that stories that have entertained audiences in the past are believed to work again if they are alternated to fit different settings. When I watch TV, I become frustrated with how unoriginal most shows are. Their are a few that seem new, but if you go back far enough, it's probably been done before. How long can you run the same thing before you bore an audience to death. It's like hearing the same song on every radio station, every single day; it's like killing a good joke because you say it so often and to so many people. Of course, most the TV I watch still consists of Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Even with that being said, these channels reuse over and over the same lessons implied through a story line. The same situations are presented in new shows as they were when I was young and watching "Lizzie McGuire."

Now, I can see good in this; as pathetic as this sounds, I learned some good life lessons through the multiple shows I watched growing up. Not to mention, I was endlessly entertained by the many situations brought up. First kisses, insane teachers, and embarrassing families never failed to keep my attention on the television set. If they did not reuse the same material, then kids would not have the chance to "learn" like I did. By presenting the same moral-values from years even before my time, the younger audiences are given equal opportunity. These stories are new to them, just like they were new to me when they were old to past generations. It could take them until my age to realize that every show has a main character, a best friend, somebody hopelessly in love with the main character, an enemy, and an older character to guide them (teacher, parent, whatever). Another positive part of this could be that if children realize that the same stories are conveyed in "iCarly" and "Wizards of Waverly Place" and they become bored, they can go be active with there lives. This discourages them from spending hour after hour with their face in a screen, and makes them want to go and run or do whatever kids do.

Honestly though, I should just face it; it's me. Good grief Taylor, you are seventeen and still watching Nickelodeon and Disney. If I'm at the point where I'm complaining about the children channels, it's time to move on. As long as I still watch these channels, I'd either be complaining about repetitiveness, or if new stories were introduced how "TV isn't what it used to be." I've watched Disney and Nick my entire life, no joke, what else do I expect. I've slowly incorporated other shows into my liking, such as "Criminal Minds" and "Glee," but that's about it. I must admit they both seem rather original, but I haven't watched much else to compare. Even so, I still find myself lost in watching these younger channels, and the same stories still entertain me. I probably won't change my TV interests, even though I'm suppose to grow up, I don't want to, not all the way and not just yet. So, for the ones who laugh at my taste in shows, and the reason behind this sort of random post, I'm still a kid. I'm a kid who loves watching kid shows and doing kid things. That is all...

Kids Things^^