Think Happy, Be Happy

What's crackin' loves? Me? Well.. quite a bit, I suppose. Allow me to share.
Some days seem pretty fucking hopeless. Like, what is the whole point? Some days are rough and full of hate, worry, misery, and of course that golden depression. As a disclaimer, guys, depression is in no way golden. Some days, most days, it feels like it's eating me away, and when it swallows I'm left in nothing but utter darkness. And I'm having a really hard time getting the idea into my head that I, my happiness and well-being, matter... Like, that I have a reason to even ride this ride (life). But I'm working on it... It's for sure a process, and a damn long one at that. I could sit here for hours and mope until I spiral down down down and plunge myself into a crisis. But I won't. I'm here to share my newest favorite coping skill that therapy has taught me. I have to share it, write about it, to retain it. I'm almost wondering if I should just get all my therapy tattooed to my body so I never forget. But anyways.
So this week we have focused on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Which, in a short, sweet, simple, and hell of a lot cheesy explanation is "Think Happy, Be Happy." But that just gets an automatic eye-roll, I know, I gave it too. But like it's actually a mind blowing and very real skill. You may be aware of this therapy theory if you've ever taken a psychology class, but I had never heard of it, so I'm pretty excited to share. The basics of it are as follows:

-An Event takes place
-It cause a Thought in our minds
-Which results in a Mood/Feeling
-That correlates with your Behavior/Actioin

Still with me?
It's just an on going cycle.

And for a number of people, including myself, our thought that occurs after an event is negative. They are called Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs), which is a great acronym because these thoughts just swarm and multiple and take over your mind, like ants. Anyway, the negative thought triggers a negative feeling that results in a negative behavior. So the idea behind CBT is to target the thought. This can be very very complicated because we aren't always aware of our thoughts, or the fact that our thoughts are even negative. Some people, like myself, have these ANTs carved so deep into our beliefs and persona that they just seem right... But the point is, change the thought, change the feeling and behavior. Now it's a big and impossible jump to go from these negative thoughts to happy-go-lucky-positive ones, so what we have to start with is making your thoughts neutral and fact-based.

 For example of this all, say tomorrow I have a big test that I'm not prepared for. Automatically, someone like myself, would think "oh shit, I'm going to fail it." This thought is usually followed by a pile of other negative thoughts including "I'm so stupid", "might as well drop-out of school now", "my life is over", and ultimately I wouldn't even try to study for the test after being so discouraged. But with the use of CBT, I would try to catch myself in this thought and change it to something more neutral, like, "there's a test tomorrow, I don't know how I'm going to do on it, but it's not too late to try to do well." and these kind of thoughts would result in a less hopeless feeling and a more studious behavior. Does that make sense? I hope I'm explaining it clearly...

Now, as I already mentioned, we aren't always aware of our thoughts. So, for starting off, sometimes we may have to catch ourselves in the already negative mood or action and work our way back to figure out what caused it. The first step to all of this is just Thought Awareness. You have to find your negative and distorted thoughts; you can't clean up an oil spill if you don't know it's even there...

 http://theberry.com/2012/01/10/daily-awww-whats-black-and-white-and-cute-all-over-30-photos/

A New Day

Holy Shit. Hey guys. A hell of a lot has happened since we've last talked, and I'm sorry I vanished, but geez. Life happens. And Instead of writing a novel of all the ups and downs that I've been through, I'll just start fresh and tell you relative things as we move forward. Today is a new day. Since it's like midnight and whatnot.

First off, I'm changing the purpose of this blog (well kind of..) I want to start updating this again, but as a therapeutic, thought journal type of blog. It will be super personal, so beware and run while you can. I just really am in a fix right now and my life is all flip-flopped; I think making myself write again might help me get back on track and maybe have reason again. I've lost a lot of myself. I got into a really dark place. But I'm in the process of regaining a better outlook of myself and the world and life. And trust me, its a hell of a long process. So bare with me, and stay with me.

Something I know I'm going to want to talk about s lot on here is something I'm not really able to share with many people, especially not to the extent that I'd like to. So, I'm going to tell you a secret to clear the air, so I can talk about it. In this "dark time" that I'm rising, some shit happened and the point is that I'm not in an Intensive Outpatient Prohram ( aka IOP and Inanimate Object Party) which is basically a 6 week long group therapy program, intensive as in Monday-Thursday 4pm-7pm... I'm about to go into my 2nd week. I like it a lot and I really REALLY think it's going to, and already is, help me a lot. But, for my own sake of digesting and retaining, I'd like to share the things I learn in therapy here. Not the super personal aspect where I share my distorted thoughts, traumas, or anything, but the part of the program where we learn coping skills.I have a bit of catching up to do, so this post will be fairly long.

Actually I'm just going to share my favorite skill so far, and I'll brush over the other ones later.  I've learned how to IMPROVE the moment. Which is a skill to help with one's Distress Tolerance, basically bringing someone back from the verge of a crisis. IMPROVE being an acronym. "I" is for imagery, where you use all five of your senses to take your mind to your "happy place." In therapy, we drew out a picture of our "happy place" and mine was sitting on this swing with my brother and sister, out in the woods under the stars with the smell of pine tree, and my dog running around us. "M" is for meaning, were you find the good/meaning/value out of the pain or bad situation you are experiencing. So that's cool."P" is for prayer/poem/phrase/whatever you want to call it, where you set a  motivating or calming message that will remind you everything will be okay; mine is "time is meant for mending." Next is "R" for relaxation, and here you do something to physically relax your body (stretching,deep breathing, getting a massage). And then there is "O" for One thing in the moment. With this one we basically do the same thing as imagery with out senses, expecting instead of going to a different "place" you do it in the moment. For example,stopping yourself from all judgmental thoughts and just observing; that wall is red, it has a rough texture, it smells like plaster, etc... (bad example but hopefully makes sense). "V" is for vacation, but not like buying a plane ticket to Spain. You take a brief vacation from your typical structure/schedule and just treat yourself to something you like but don't have on a regular basis. It could be anything from going playing with puppies at a pet store or exploring a new nature trail or anything. Finally, we have "E" for encouragement, where you have to become your own cheerleader. You just tell yourself encouraging things, literally like "You can do it!"

I realize how freaking cheesy this all is, but hey it really works. And the thing is I just want to be better. I don't want to be sick anymore, so I'm willing to try anything and everything. In the meantime, I'm inching my way back into a good state. And I want to warn you, internet, that I will have really really good days, and I will have really really bad days; but it'll be okay. I'm trying to not isolate myself from the world anymore. I'm trying to understand that I am important and what I do impacts others' lives. And I'm trying to remember and believe that the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind. Thanks, Dr. Seuss.

Here's an irrelevant picture.

{source: http://cute-n-tiny.com/tag/raccoon/ }

Peace.

Gone To Texas

I've been in Austin for about 5 days, now. And MAN have I done a lot already. Concerts, and food, and adventures, and people, and walking, and bus rides, and music, and hookah bars, guys. ITS BEEN SO FUN. I'm in love with Austin, and now that I'm finally here, I can't say that I have any desire to leave... It's all been fun and games, and I look forward to what else might roll my  way while I'm here. But I wasn't really excited about the school part of college life starting up on Wednesday, until tonight.

Tonight the university had it's "Gone to Texas" rally for the incoming class of 2016. I'm not sure if it was the energy exploding from all directions, or the endless rivers of brand new longhorns gathered around the orange-lit tower, or maybe the spunk in the crowd while singing "The Eyes of Texas", or the way each speaker had their own message for us freshman to take into account, but I'm so ready now. After a long, lazy, partying summer, I was reminded what I want; I remember why I'm here and my aspirations to truly change the world. And I know that I'm in the right place in my life; right here, right now.

I'm psyched to wake up and go to my first classes tomorrow. I want to be the best freaking student I can. I'm ready to learn like I've never done before and just absorb all of this amazingness surrounding me. I'm glad I went tonight and got the boost of energy I needed to be the longhorn that I have ALWAYS looked forward of being. I am honestly at the best school in the world, and feel confident that I am going to love every second of my time here. Yes, even the inevitable stress and  exhaustion will be worth it in the end. 

I'm a person who gets super excited and feels like they can do absolutely anything after a good pep talk, so I'm just so stoked right now.  And my super nerd has revealed herself once more as I am now very excited my education at UT and starting my own adventure to change the world.

On a side note I played Just Dance on the Wii in front of all  of my fellow Communication students... no regrets... 

HOOK 'EM!! \m/

Call me Whodini.

I just got back from an amazing weekend at a river house with some of my dearest friends. We went as a sort of last adventure together before we all go our separate ways at the end of August; bitter sweet, right? Well, their was a lot of sweet. New memories were made from skinny dipping to antique shopping. I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time. But the bitter part... It was there, you could tell when we'd start talking about college. Or when the younger members of the group would talk about going into their senior year of hs. And definitely when we're all laying down and someone drifts off to sleep, only to wake up with tears in their eyes and soaking their pillow. But for me? I've never felt bitter about it all.

When we got back home and were dropping people off, one of the guys said bye to the others, then told me not to disappear. I'm def over thinking this, but I was a little bit like "huh?" am I really the one who disappears from people. Am I going to be the one who leaves and never comes back? This is obviously a dumb question. I've been ready, planning even, to do that since I was in elementary school. I was counting down the days to graduation long before I even got into high school. But you have to understand that I never expected to make such amazing friends over the years. Still. I AM the one who always disappears. I can be super close to somebody at one point, inseparable bff's, and then like nothing retract myself from their lives. And that's just a part of me, I don't know how to help it, it's natural. I will put so much effort into something, someone, only to disappear in the end. While my friends sit and reminisce about the good times, I'm already wondering what type of new friends I'll make in the future. I'm sorry, I'm horrible. But... I don't know. I didn't think people noticed that that's what I do. And I know nobody really knows why, but most of the time when I disappear it's for my own good. In those times, I've lost myself and need to get back intone with who I am. I spend a lot of time alone and with myself. That's where I disappear to, my own mind... But anyways, It never really hit me that I'm already going to disappear from all of these people... (like I said, over thinking. He wasn't really pointing out all the things from the past. Just the future.)

Anyway.
You're thinking I'm a horrible person, an awful friend. But I just see it for what it is, I'd say I'm just being rational. I love my friends. I couldn't have asked for a better group to get me through the hells of high school. I couldn't dream of better memories. I think very highly of every single one of them. But I'm not sad about starting my new life, even if some of those friends aren't a part of it. I'm not bitter about it. We're all going to do great things. We're all going to meet great people and just have entirely great lives. Sure, I'll miss them from time to time. I'll wish they were with me when I hear a certain song or something. But I know that it's okay, it's life. Moving on is a part of the whole shebang. I doubt I will cry when it comes to final goodbyes. I doubt I'll give anything a second thought when I walk away. This is it. This is good. I wish them all the best and hope they find exactly what they are looking for in life. I can try not to disappear. I would like to visit from time to time, but I'm not going to fool myself or any of them by saying that things won't change and we'll all stay in touch. I've accepted that. I accepted that before I even met these people. It's okay...

Lastly, if you remember on New Years my friend and I made "2012 bucket/to-do lists" for each other (skinny dipping, check) and one of mine is to tell all my friends (well any 5 i want) how I feel/what I think about them before we go off. Since I'm moving with my family at the end of the week, this is the time to do so. I have no idea what to tell anyone. And this might be the hardest part for me because I'm either completely apathetic about things, or WAY extreme, over the top... I'll have to see what pans out... Well, guys. Idk what's next.



Here's a picture of a kangaroo I made from some mysterious connectable toy things at the river house. :)

Summer Starts

Dude it's summer.
SUMMER!

And I'm gonna hop back on this blog train and be throwing posts at you like a mofo.

With that said, I have MANY goals this summer and I would like to share them with you because if they stay in my mind they are less likely to get done.

So, here we go.

-Blog More
-Watch the entire Doctor Who series
-Make new friends
-Reconnect with old friends
-Be a vegetarian
-Be healthy
-Teach my dog tricks
-Watch all of the Jurassic Parks
-Cut off my hair
-Re-read The Hunger Games trilogy
-Beat my Zelda video game
-Come out to my siblings
-Flirt.
-Get some tattoos
-Ride my Bike
-Phineas and Ferb (I won't explain)
-Swim
-Get a Vehicle of my own
- Go to Parties
- Volunteer
-Get my dog fixed
-Get money, get bitches

And in no particular order, those are my goals, the ones I can think of at least, there will probably be more.
In other news I FINALLY got a phone back (I hadn't had one since like April and it was horrible and part of the reason why I stopped blogging and lost all my friends) That sounded pathetic, but you know...

As I'm writing this I am "watching" the video directions on what I need to do before I register for my classes for the Fall, and it's boring. But WAY worth it because, well, it's UT.

I'm going to go do something I might regret now, wish me luck.
Kbye.

Fiesta! All day, Everyday.

Do you want to hear about my day??? Because it was THE BEST.
I went on my last high school field trip to Fiesta Texas in San Antonio with a bus load of amazing people.
And it was EXACTLY what I needed.

The pass few days I had been feeling awfully down and gloomy. Just everywhere I went, everyone I saw, and everything I did depressed me a bit more. BUT today made it all disappeared. It started out with loading on to a charter bus at 5:30 in the not so bright and shiny morning. I slept a good portion of the way to the park, but woke up to watch The Addams Family and play some sort of werewolf game where I kept killing off innocent villagers. We stopped at Buc-ee's for some bfast and got to the park a few minutes before it opened.

I haven't been to an amusement park in a few years and was really craving some roller coasters - because roller coasters are my favorite thing, well one of them, like if a roller coaster came in liquid form I'd be willing to shoot it through my veins... So we kinda formed into a group and set off. We started out with some of the smaller rides, but I was yearning for some roller coasters. At first, the one we were in line for broke down, and then we found out the Superman wasn't running, but we finally got on a ride AND THEN THE FIRST ROLLER COASTER STARTED WORKING AND SUPERMAN STARTED RUNNING SO IT WAS OKAY. Roller coasters make me laugh hysterically because I'm having so much fun on them, I pretty much look like a seal, clapping my arms together and barking, by the end. They were just a great, and very needed, thrill.

Aside from the fun of the coasters, I ended up with an awesome group of people who just kept me laughing and smiling throughout the day - that is long lines, hot sun, dark lunches, and back-and-forth walking. But none of that was even bad, I honestly cannot complain about this trip. I amusement parked until I felt sick at my stomach, which conveniently was around the time we were loading back on the buses. And when I got back to my seat I was dirt tired, woozy, dehydrated, and sweaty. Everyone was. So you would think it would be a calm ride home... It was for the first 45 minutes on the way back to Buc-ee's for dinner (btw they have awesome grilled cheese sandwiches that I am just learning of), but then all of the sudden it was like we were all high; high on exhaustion, high on life, and high on sugar.  And the ride home was crazy. At one point we are watching Avatar, and the next I have friends behind making turbans and weaves out of blankets. AND then they started doing yoga and had there legs all up in the air while my friends beside and in front of me are chanting at the top of their lungs beneath a blanket. And all I knew to do was laugh, and I laughed hard. We went on to share stories and make fun of teachers and have a few random top-of-our-lung ballad sing-a-longs. The bus driver would seriously speed up when we started singing to get us out of his bus faster. And the entire way, no matter how ridiculous EVERYONE was being, I could not stop smiling.

It was a FUN day, everyone. FUN. :)
I'm really glad I ended up going.

Thank you for entertaining me and allowing me to talk about my day with you. Tomorrow is my last regular day of high school. Finals start Friday and I don't think I have to take any, so like... I'm done. We're done.
I cried a lot last night in Glee's graduation/finale because all these friends were leaving each other and having to say goodbye, but I haven't gotten that feeling IRL, yet...? And maybe I should be feeling that because I am not really getting much of a summer with them... My family is moving this summer and I can plan on visiting all I want, but my plans tend to be put on the back burner in this household, so.... Idk.
But I know that I'm bringing a crap load of pictures tomorrow to glue to the dozens of banners of students in the main hall because through all the major events this year they have managed to keep me off the wall, so I'm adding myself. And I have to get a few more people to sign my year book. After today I really don't want to have to go to school tomorrow but... just one more day, that's all I've got, man.

I have to go because my dog missed me all day and can't stand to be ignored for a computer. Sorry this is sort of BLAH, I'm just still all happy and excited from today...


And anyone who went today and reads this is going to think I'm so lame for coming straight home to write this, but.. oh well [:

Prom-ing up the Night

Holy (insert religious deity of your choosing here) PROM is tonight!

How crazy is that?!?!?

Over the last several months I've been like, "Prom is forever away, why do I have to make any decisions now?" Honestly if I hadn't have had a date who pushed me to get everything done, I would still probably been unprepared. But I got the dress, shoes, other accessories, hair is getting done later alone with nails and make-up (geez I sound like such a girl). Yet it still doesn't feel like its happening...

Despite my lack of belief in this reality, I truly am excited. I've never been to a prom since NS only have a senior prom, and I've never been super in with many of the past seniors. Which I say is good because this is MY prom and I think it is only suppose to be a one time experience.
I remember when I was younger(like 8) ---whoa whoa whoa! I have a different spill about being younger in a minute*--- and I thought prom was the stupidest thing ever. I was the kid who was very much like OH HELL NO I'M NOT WEARING A BIG DRESS, and what not. Even when I got older(like freshman year) and tagged a long to help my sister with her prom-preparation-festivities, I was pretty sure that it wasn't for me. But guess what, I'm going to prom, with one of my closest friends, in a fancy dress-and hair and make-up and heels- and I'm super excited. I wasn't even excited at first, but as the time unbelievingly crept closer, my excitement has indeed grown. I guess I am more girlish than I would usually admit when it comes to liking to feel pretty.  And our theme is "Night of Nostalgia" and I'm wondering if they are going to be playing 90's music or something- which I'd be cool with, yo.

But guys, why does Mother's Day have to be tomorrow? It's one of the few days of the year that I wear anything my mom wants me to (dresses) and go anywhere my mom wants me to (church). I haven't actually told my mom that I'm NOT coming home after prom. And I'm not sure when I'll be home the next day either. I love my mother (even though she was a punk this week) but like I already said, this prom thing only happens once; I want to do all the jazz that comes with it including hotel room after parties. UGH. She will understand, right?

In other news I'm an official nerd because I had SOME FUN taking the AP Lit+Comp test the other day. I'm pretty confident about the Gov/Eco test next week. I am SO SET for graduation in June that it's no joking matter. My graduation present (and my sister's because she just graduated with her Bachelor's yesterday) is a 5 day trip to New York. I'm so freaking pumped about it and I've already got tickets to see Wicked on broadway! Later in the summer, I also have tickets for The Lion King. My brother is still a punk. My dog is HUGE. My life is a balance between sucking and awesomeness, so I guess that makes it average?? I've pretty much set in on a IDGAF school attitude since GPA's a Ranks set in (which I've decided I'm content with my #55) I still have no phone, haven't for over a MONTH. It's sort of raining at the moment. I'm the only one awake right now and about to enjoy some oatmeal. I have no pants on. #thingsyoudontneedtoknow

Mmhhmmm.

Oh.

*Guys, how old do I look???? I've always been told I look younger than I am. But it's only hit me these last few months when I start talking about college or graduation and people who don't know me all that well are like "WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE 16." And to confirm this, I've asked my entire family, many friends, some teachers, and some strangers to tell what age I look. EVERY ANSWER WAS 16. They all say that that will be a good thing for me in the future, but I just want to look my age. I'm going to be 18, a freaking adult who can vote and shit, in about 3 weeks. 18. Not 16. So I went on to ask my family how old I looked when I WAS 16. Answer? 14. Really?! To make matters worse, all of those same people say that my LITTLE brother looks 16 as well. He IS 14. Yes, he is taller and bigger and stronger than I am, but he is only 14. And apparently we look the same age??!! What?
So I don't know, it's not that I'm upset. I'm just surprised. It's probably no big deal, I just want it to be known that I am in fact turning EIGHTEEN on June 2nd, no other age.


Look a Hippo

kbye.

Ends and Ends

I realized that I can't write this post. I can't sit here and tell any of you how important FFA is to me. Sure I can tell you how it made me come out of my shell, transforming me from a shy kid to a confident leader. I could tell you have many lessons I've learned through FFA, lessons about agriculture, about life, and about myself. I could sit and explain how much I have loved loved LOVED being a member, and an officer, emphasizing how I've grown and how much I owe to the program and all of the people involved in it. I could tell you that my ag teachers, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, who I have known longer than any of my friends, are my role models. How I think the world of them and love them dearly. I could tell you so many things, all true things, but even if I used excellent diction and described it to a T, you still wouldn't understand. I really don't think anyone could understand it. But yeah. I can't write this post, just as I could not give a proper speech about it last night. I did a pretty wretched job at it actually. 

Last night was my last FFA Banquet. And even though we still have 2 months until we graduate, last night I said goodbye to many amazing people who I have grown so close to. Last night, I had to retire my officer position. And Today. I am no longer the President of the North Shore FFA Chapter. Today it's like I'm nothing. I'm nothing without it all. The North Shore FFA isn't just some program; it's my home. It's everything to me and I don't know what I am now without it... I'm nothing. And dammit I cried so effing hard after it was over. I cried like someone I loved had died. And it was a death, a death of the biggest aspect of my life; of everything I know. And I realize I'm sounding a tad bit on the dramatic side; but that's how heavy my heart feels right about now. I love it all so much, I'm going to miss it all SO MUCH. I AM ready to graduate, go to college, and start a new part of my life. But I just wasn't ready to let it all go. I wanted, more than anything, to hold on for just a bit longer, until the end of the year, or something. 

Still. This Banquet went pretty amazing, and it was something That I ran, I put to gather. Everyone was super proud of me and the person I've become. I got a lot of hugs that I just wanted to hold on tight to. So many people told me I've been a great president; one of the greatest the program has ever had. It's hard to agree, but it still feels good to hear. Deep down I know it's time to move on, that I've played my role and have to continue on to the next chapter of my life. I know that I've been prepared to take on life and become someone great. The Huge Fish, THAT I STILL HAVEN'T TOLD YOU ABOUT DAMMIT!

And I made it through the entire ceremony before I busted into tears as I left the stage. 

Today's just bittersweet, you know....

It was like everything had just gotten started, but in a blink it was over.

It hurts.

But It will be okay.

I can't thank the people of the FFA enough for giving my such an amazing chance to shine.

I love them.

Estrogen.

Let. Me. Tell. You.
Not even going to try to apologize for not writing when I said I would. I'm tired of apologizing. I'll write when I have time. I'll write when i feel like it. Like right now. Lol. Write now. And I'm pushing back my fish spiel another week because I need to let some emotional distress out today.

I'm way waaaaayyyy too emotional. It's ridiculous and annoying. Now, usually I can control it. But that one stupid week of the month when my hormones are on fire, I can't be held responsible for my ridiculousness. Last night I stayed up to finish The Mockingjay, and at then end I started crying. All three of the books made me cry a bit and choke up a lot, but not like this. I cried through the last three chapters of the book, finished it, and then cried myself to sleep. In pathetic. I mean it was good but my reaction was pathetic. And I hate myself when I think of ever crying myself to sleep....

And this morning. DEAR BUDDHA I'VE BEEN A WRECK. I was takin my puppy on a walk and these two huge dog run up to us, too fast for me to react, and attacked my little baby! She's okay. No wounds or punctures or anything. But we were both terrified out of our minds. She was wailing a scared puppy dog wail. And the were in top of her and I couldn't pull them off and I couldn't get to her. Finally their owner come up and pulls them off. I grabbed my puppy and run, completely in tears. I ran to the end of the street with her and sat down in the corner to make sure she was okay. She is. Her little tail was tucked in between her legs and she peed on herself, but I can't blame her I would have done the same thing if I had had to pee. And I was shaking and rocking and crying with her in my arms. I couldn't walk the other half a mile home and called my mon to come get us.... The man came and apologized. But. Fuck. I've been shaken up all day.


And to add on top of it all, I'm late. We are going to Austin this week. I'm uber excited because I get to spend the entire week somewhere I love. I show my steer the beginning of the week, my heifer at the end. And the rest of the time I'm free to be in Austin. But we are late. Late to unload, late to check in, late. And one thing that drives me crazy, that will put me into an anxiety attack, is being late. So the normal anxiety of being late plus to enhanced emotions, makes me a wreck. An in trying not to tear up more, I'll probably take a nap when I'm done writing this so my mind won't stay on it. But man, I can't handle more disaster....

Stuff and Things and Whatnot

I don't know what happened. I just stopped. Stopped everything. Stopped facebooking, stopped tweeting, stopped tumblring, and stopped blogging. Everything social networking wise, stopped, and I was kind of letting myself disappear. That's not good though. For reasons I'm not prepared to announce, social networking is a good thing for me. And it's not that I haven't had the time to post things, I just haven't had anything to say. Nothing that's worth anyone's time at least. But I'm going to try and pretend like my life is more interesting, and say something starting now.

First off, this post is simply talking about things going on in my life. It will be in three sections, each a different topic. And I will be returning tomorrow for a more interesting blog about marine life... kinda.

I've become a victim of a few bandwagons. Like. Have you guys read The Hunger Games?!?! I decided to about a week ago, and I am now obsessed!! I've never been like this about a book series, well not since Nancy Drew books in elementary... I saw all the Harry Potter's, and read a book or two, and I liked it but I am in no way a Potterhead. Twilight, no. But THE HUNGER GAMES OWN MY HEART. I'm almost done with the last book, and that's the quickest I've ever read anything. I'm generally a sloooowwww reader. But I could not put these books down. I'll be in Austin for a heifer show when the movie comes out, but hopefully I can steal away from my farmer life for a few hours to go see it. Well. I wouldn't discuss the books here and ruin it for anyone who hasn't read them. But. You. Need. To. Read. Them. I'm so giddy talking about them, I've forgotten what the other bandwagon I was going to talk about was....
OH YEAH! Drawsomething. Most games I roll my eyes  and make fun of the people who play it, but I like this one. If you don't have or know of this game, it's like a Word with Friends but Pictionary style. And if you do play, feel free to make a game with me: tay4cookie

It's Spring Break... And even though I'm not going to school, it doesn't feel like Spring Break. And the week is going by super-dee-duper fast! I have something planned for everyday, but then I also have no plans... That makes no sense, I know, but I'm not going to take the time to explain. Hmmm, I haven't seen much of anyone other than my family and my Ag people though... Nope. I've been more on the getting-scholarships-filled-out and staying-in-my-room and playing-with-my-puppy side of the break... I need to do some essay shiz for English though. And light a fire under this darn environmental science online course.. because I need it to graduate and all... But next Monday I leave for Austin, and am spending the entire week there. Soooo, it gives me an excuse to further procrastinate... This paragraph ended up not being about much at all...

I can't remember if I've ever expressed on  here how much FFA is to me... I've talked about it a little bit, but I don't think I've said it all. I'm not going to right now. I'll go look and make sure I don't already have a post about it, and then push the topic to the top of my blog writing list to post in the next few weeks. But. I am going to point out that our banquet is the 3rd of April. And it will be time for me to retire my President position. And I have to give a speech and do all kinds of other things. But. I. Can't. I get emotional every time I think about it, and I've been thinking about it for way to long... I don't want that part of my life to be over just yet... Because sometimes I feel like I won't be anything anymore.... Like that is what makes me who I am, and without it I'm nobody... Okay. Gonna stop talking about it before I upset myself...

This post ended up being less than I imagined, but once again I'm left with nothing to say... It's so weird because all of my life I've had something to say. Even though when there are many many times where I don't say it, It's still there, in my mind. But. Today, yesterday, last week, nothing.... Sooo.
Make sure you see The Lorax if you haven't. Have a Great Spring Break. Keep Rockin'

See you TOMORROW!